To Myself I Turned
by L 0 K I
Summary: The arrival of Rin, reinvented. She began as a stone thrown into deep waters, creating ripples wherever she went. But when the waves calm, is the smooth surface all that’s left? Sesshoumaru-Kagome.
1. Prologue: A Winding Road

**To Myself I Turned**

**Prologue:**

**A Winding Road******

_Walking through the unknown woods / The angels fell asleep (that night) / But my steps were firm and strong / (As they were) in the light of day._

_I held my eyes straight in the dark / To scare the beasts that cross my way / There'll never be a winding road / That stops my quest and ends my prayers._

_I know until the judgment day / When all the seas gone dry / There will never be another one / Who's lonelier than I._

_I saw (the) inferno and (the) paradise / I saw the beast and heard its lies / I heard the sirens sing their songs / I still don't know my way._

_I wandered as I always did / A sphere of darkness followed me / As I saw a clearing light / That marked the end of all (my journeys)_

_I know until the judgment day / When all the seas gone dry / There will never be another one / Who's lonelier than I..._

**~ Komödia Part IV, The Ending, By: Dreams of Sanity**

     The world moved with certain magics.  Death magic, so much sharper than the gentle healing arts, always struck a cord deep within the earth.  And sometimes the ripples spanned out for weeks, touching upon everything and nothing.

     She had been kneeling besides a small stream when she felt the aftershocks, great beats of power like a thousand hooves thundering over her body all at once.  She did not fight as she used to, it was a losing battle.  Instead she stayed on her knees and let each echo strike her, flow through her, and out, seeking other paths like water parting around a stone.  She swayed with the magic, closing her eyes and silently tasting it.

    Only...on its tails, nearly lost in the death magic's sheer destructive force, was a flicker of life, magic more akin to her own.  Though vastly different at the same time.

     She jumped abruptly to her feet as a new edge of magic crashed into her, through her, and she nearly staggered.  It was close, very close.  Ringing in her head for long, drawn-out seconds.  Its taste was familiar, though she couldn't exactly remember tasting it before.

     The power in her wanted to find the source.  To see it, explore it.  Conquer it if it could be conquered.  She turned on her heel, to the east and the forest, forgetting all-together the thirst she had been quenching for the curiosity now rising.

     She followed the fading sparks of the magic's path, feeling it in her hands, her eyes, and a hot burning in the pit of her stomach.  It did not hide itself, too small to attract most youkai, but that was only illusion.  She could feel its hum, its pulse that beat through the ground beneathe her feet.  It was strong.

     The leaves parted before her steps as she walked calmly through the forest.  One fell down towards her head, but hit air that rippled a pale line of pink light.  The dry leaf skittered to the side to fall behind her.  She didn't even notice.

     Closer, she was getting closer.  The faint trail was scattering on the wind, but she already knew the direction to go.

_I'll just see what it is, make sure it's not dangerous, then leave.  I'll_...

     _Oh_.

     She broke the thick line of trees and stepped into a very small clearing.  Surrounded by so many organic colours, the white and warmer red of his kimono screamed out for attention.  Though it was slightly warn, it looked, from battle.

     _Is that_...

     The creature was propped against a tree, half-buried in a mound of snowy fur.  She hesitated once, then stepped quietly, carefully around it.  Not sure if there was even a reason to be so timid.  But life on her own this last year had taught her a wealth of caution.

     _It is.  Sesshoumaru, Inuyasha's older brother.  He looks different_.

Of course, he would, it had been how long since she had first and last seen him?  That much time was bound to change a person.  But it wasn't exactly his appearance, but more, his state of appearance.  He looked bad, wounded.

     _Is he alive_?

     She knelt down, close near his head and peered into his red-staring eyes.  Nothing changed.  She reached out a seeking tendril of magic and gasped shortly as something forcefully batted it away.

     _Alive.__  He is definitely alive.  Just not conscious.  Gods, what happened?  All that death-magic...was he the target_?

     She blinked, her eyes widening.

     _He should be dead_.

     She stared at him for long moments, then shook her head, stood up.

     _Doesn't matter.__  Whatever happened, it doesn't concern me_.

     She turned to go, but couldn't quite get herself to take those steps.  After a few moments of internal struggle, the miko turned back to the fallen youkai lord and stared down at him.

_     I'll stay for a little while, just to see that nothing happens.  Then I'll leave_.

**TBC**...

A short prologue, the next chapter I like very much, which is odd for me...Anyway, anybody interested in reading more of this story, please review!  Thanks! ^_^


	2. Chapter One: Circle of Giving

This chapter and the previous one are kinda short. Don't worry, it won't be a trend. I don't think. Thanks to those who reviewed! I hope you like this chapter as well. And yep, Kagome will have moments of OCCness, but you have to understand that a lot has happened differently in this version of the 'story' (we'll be going into most of it, don't worry!), and Kagome has adapted accordingly. But in true Kagome-style---she hasn't lost touch with who she really is. It just takes a little digging... I love Kagome! And it shows in how I always choose _her_ to torture with gratuitous angst! Feel the love! ::squeals as several arrows strike the wall behind her, all miraculously missing by mere inches:: ehhh...hehe...::twitchtwitch::

Disclaimer: I no own. You no own. We no own. Japanese!Miroku's voice makes me melt...Whoops, where did that come from?! (Accidentally caught an episode on Adult Swim. I cried. Then had to go watch my subs. Just say no to dub, minna-san.) Gods, I am such an Audiowhore. But really, could there possibly be a sexier voice??????

And with that completely random moment, let's move on to the story.

**To Myself I Turned**

**Chapter One:**

**Circle of Giving**

_I would never think of me as a hero / A bringer of wisdom, of hope, and of peace / I never could think of me in a vortex / Of hope, of future, and vitality._

_I can spread my thoughts to flood the room / Embracing and webbing the people reborn. / The love they are feeling I never can taste; / The sadness, the hatred remains my own._

_So many souls - they long to be saved, / Some beasts, some sinners, some lost in their fate. / For all to rescue, my lifespan's too short, / Refuse all the evil - divine all the gods?_

_I never asked for a higher believing / I never questioned the way I was born / I never wanted to walk among angels / I never wanted to be so alone._

_Alone with my powers - alone in my mind / (__The__) holder of darkness - the bringer of light.__ / This melancholy circle of giving - not taking / Cannot be endured by me._

_I'm here to flare a sign / To guide the lost on to their fate. / Like I (__once__) sent Dante his story to take. / But no one holds that candle for me._

_So as the years of helping and bleeding / Had passed away my will to live. / I returned to the sea of my time and my being, / I melted into (__the__) waves as it was my will._

**The Prophet, Dreams of Sanity**

The crimson of Sesshoumaru's eyes faded, bringing him back to awareness. Though not enough of him yet. There was a slight rustle of cloth, and he turned in one swift motion, sweeping claws up on instinct and grabbing the hand as it descended towards his face. The beast in him growled warning even as the man tried to push to the surface. The face hovering above his stared down patiently, blinking big brown eyes at him.

Knowing what he was and not being put off by his instant display of aggression, Kagome calmly twisted her wrist out of his grasp and let her hand drop to her knee.

_I know this girl. She looks different, but_...The glow bled out of his eyes as he stared at her. She stared back, her gaze empty and unhelpful. Her hair fell like a thick black veil around her small shoulders and down her back, the ends of it brushed the dirt as she knelt beside him. With a blink at him, something full of cool amusement, she smiled and rose to her feet. Her grace confused him, he was not used to humans being so calm in his presence. With silent, unhurried steps she crossed the small clearing, giving him more time to study her and her movements. It was clear from the blue hakama and white gi that she was a miko, though it certainly did not explain how she was familiar to him.

She turned back, her dark hair catching sunlight as it fell through breaks in the trees. Staring full at her face as she came back to him, realization finally hit.

_She is the human my stupid half-brother was traveling with before...Why is she here_?

"Where is he?"

Kagome went to her knees beside him and raised the cup she had retrieved, offering it to him. "Where is who?"

Sesshoumaru swept a hand through the air, causing the offending cup to go skittering across the grass. "You know very well who." He expected to see fear or surprise on the girl's face, but she glared at him coolly.

"I don't know where he is and I don't care."

_He's awake. You should go now_, came that oh so reasonable voice, sounding a lot like cold water flowing beneathe ice. She heard it, and she even agreed with it, but instead of obeying she found herself balancing back on her heels and studying the youkai before her. He seemed to be mulling over her words rather heavily.

Truth of the matter, he had cast off her statement as a flash of lucidity in the rather murky depths of her feeble human mind. Only a flash because, while she seemed smart enough to recognize his half-brother as the truly worthless creature that he was, she still had not realized the danger that _he_ was.

"What happened," she asked.

He stared at her. Did she really expect him to speak to _her_? As if she were even capable of understanding?

His silence didn't seem to strike her the way that it should have. It slid across the surface of her serenity, rolling off her like water rolling off the well-oiled feathers of a duck. She smiled at him, a slow curling of her lips that said she had faced and survived things much worse than his stubbornly arrogant attitude.

"You should be dead," she then stated, her smile still in place. It irritated him so. The amusement faded out of her eyes like the shadow of the moon dimming in the brilliance of the dawn. The curve to her mouth remained, giving the look the appearance of something only half-done. She was a peculiar girl. While most humans seemed terrified of silence, she had embraced it.

"I felt it. You should be dead, but you're not." And then she abruptly switched gears, "That's a very interesting sword you have there." She eyed the nondescript blade pointedly.

His hand instantly itched to grasp Tenseiga protectively, but he made no move to do so. She couldn't possibly know what it was.

He glared at her just the same, growing very tired of her questions. "If you value your life, miko, then I suggest you leave. These injuries will not restrain this Sesshoumaru for long."

Rising to her feet, she walked over and retrieved the fallen cup, brushing dirt from its side as she did so. "I value my life," she said, "But you're not my master. I come and go as I please."

"Insolent bitch," but unfortunately that was the worst he could do. Tenseiga had protected him, but not before it let that damn hanyou nearly rip him to shreds. No, not the hanyou, that had all been Tetsusaiga's work. It was truly a magnificent blade, such a pity that it had to be destroyed. Better that though then leaving it to Inuyasha's clumsy hands.

He watched with narrowed eyes as she filled the cup yet again, the clear water pouring in from an unusual container. The waning afternoon sun caught it and shattered into a hundred enticing shards.

He found his tongue thick and dry against the back of his teeth as she approached him once more, liquid sloshing over the vessel's sides. She cupped both her hands around its base as if she were offering him something precious and fragile.

He promptly turned his head away from her, the action taking more strength then he cared to admit. Still, he tilted his chin up and stared blankly into the distance. He'd die before he accepted help from a human.

Out of the corner of his eye he saw the strange girl shrug, then lift the glass to her own lips.

**TBC**...

Next chapter will be much longer. And we will go a little into what Kagome has done on her own (more or less, hint-hint) for the past two years. I want to keep that chapter pretty much together, so that's why this one ends where it does. Thanks for reading everyone! Please review!


End file.
